Why buy the milk when you can buy the cow!

They sell everything now at WALMART.

Man: "He's been like this since Sunday's game."
Woman: "Well, if that's Marion Barber, then who's Mrs. Claus in the next aisle?"

Man: " He went into shock trying to grant a child's Christmas request"

Woman: What was the request?"

Man: Peace and Love through out the land

found him on the discontinued shelf.

Can you believe walmart had him for sale as a black friday doorbuster?

What . . . he was on clearance!

Just following the current trend. Putting Santa away for now while the stores gear up for St. Patty's Day and Easter. Can never be too early.

I found him dazed and confused in the electronics aisle. I though I'd take him home and have the kids explain a few things before I take him back in!

Honey, they were out of the Elf on a Shelf so, I grabbed Santa instead!

…4G ? …3G ? …iPad ? …iPod ? … it’s got him a little stressed out …

I bought him at a discount since his job was outsourced to China.

I've had him on layaway since October....Does he look a tad thin?

Yes, you can call me Rudolph...No, he hasn't quite gotten over the whole 'sleigh repo thing'!

It's just going to be easier all around this way.

What??? One stop shop. I'm done!

The True Meaning of Christmas: "I'd like to see my brother out do this!"

I got tired of picking out presents for everyone. Buy one Santa and he takes care gifts for everyone.

I cleaned up on aisle 6!

the magic of christmas doesnt come gift wrapped

He took his sleigh in for a tune up and the sleigh mechanic gave him an estimated bill on everything that needs to be done to make it safe to use on Christmas Eve.

He can't believe Kim Kardashian's marriage only lasted 72 days.

Santa went out on a limb and only got Bears playoff tickets this year for stocking stuffers.

I'm tired of always doing all the work and this guy getting the credit.....NOT THIS TIME!

He was reported to Dept of Homeland Security as a possible terrorist suspect...we're holding him indefinitely and without charges.Didn't you read the Defense Appropriations Act of 2011?

Newt Gingrich is replacing him with a 12 year old...

The Democrats were right. There is a Santa. Everything is free!

The Rahm who stole Christmas

What a nightmare.....I'll never do self checkout again!

The Kardashians just got done sitting on his lap.

I don't know. he just jumped into the basket babbling "Naughty, nice, Dasher, Dancer, loose weight to fit in chimney, lactose intolerant". I think it's Pre Christmas Stress Disorder.

Santa just spoke to Mrs Claus and she found out that Kim Kardashian left her husband for Santa Claus. She wanted a "Toy" boy.