Anti-Bullying Expert to Valley View Students: Keep Your Spirit Burning Brightly

“Don’t change for anyone or anything.”

So says nationally renowned author and speaker Jodee Blanco who visited Romeoville Tuesday to share her mind-boggling personal bullying experiences with students at both A. Vito Martinez and Lukancic middle schools.

“Never let anyone touch your spirit,” the author of Please Stop Laughing at Me said. “Every one of you has a bright candle burning inside you that allows you to get back up and try again even when you don’t feel like it.”

Bullies, she said, don’t understand the damage they do to their classmates. “They damage you for life.”

Drawing on what she termed her “nightmare” school years, Blanco told students about “the kid nobody wanted to be caught dead hanging out with.”

“You never look at us. You look through us like we’re invisible. You don’t want to talk with us. You just talk about us,” she said, as if talking to the bullies she was forced to deal with in middle and high school. “Each day you put little thoughts inside of us and after a while we believe there really is something wrong with us. You make us think we’re no good, we’re worthless.

“It’s not fair.”

The fact is, Blanco said, “There is nothing wrong with you. It is everything that is right about you that makes you a target for bullies. Don’t change. The bullies are the ones who need to change.”

Blanco talked about nervous laughter (“being laughed at hurts so bad”), emotional violence (“excluding someone is still a form of bullying even if it’s not on purpose”), the difference between tattling and telling, and the need to intercede if someone is being bullied.

But mostly she told students to be themselves.

“Don’t ever let anybody ever tell you something is wrong with you, because I am telling you everything is right about you,” she said. “In life you are going to get your heart broken, not once, not twice, lots of times. But that’s not a bad thing. People who never get their hearts broken never achieve their dreams. Go out there and risk your heart. The rewards are awesome.

“It is so hard to light that candle flame once it goes out,” she concluded. “So keep each other’s candle flames burning bright. Don’t snuff it out.”

Editor's note: This is a press release from Valley View School District 365U. 

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