How to Raise a Thankful Child

Being appreciative and thankful for what one has are values we believe most parents want their children to develop as they grow.

But during those visits to the toy store, when your child is begging (or screaming) for the latest toy he must have, you may wonder how children develop gratitude. 

So while children may not show outward appreciation or thankfulness much before age 3, you can start nurturing the idea of gratitude even in your child's first year. 

Ways to Raise a Thankful Child

• Keep gifts reasonable. As tempting as it is to shower your child with gifts, if they receive everything they ask for it's hard to teach gratitude. Secondly, a lot of gifts are overwhelming for small children.They can't focus on or appreciate any one gift if they get so many. Let family members know that one small gift is plenty for a child. Explain that the fewer gifts, the more children will play with and appreciate them.
• Look for ways to be involved in community. Begin to talk with your child about how they can help others who don't have as much as they do. Look for opportunities with a clear connection they will understand, such as helping dogs or cats at your local shelter, collecting canned foods for a local food pantry or collecting jackets, hats and mittens for a local children's program.

• Show thankfulness to your children. Saying things like "Thank you for getting your jacket when I asked," or "Thank you for your hug—it made me feel so happy!"

• Prompt children to use thankful words. Remind children to say "please" and "thank you." It will take some time for them to learn when to use the words but it is worth it.
• Read books about what it means to be thankful. Books help children make sense of new ideas. One example is "Little Critter:Just So Thankful" by Mercer Mayer

• Involve children in writing thank-you notes. While you can't give them a pen and note card, snap a photo of your child playing with a new toy or wearing a new outfit and include it with your thank you note that both of you put together. They can also be involved in sticking a stamp on the envelope and putting the note in the mailbox.

Think about what it means to be thankful in your family and culture. Share your stories with your children. 

Happy Holidays and thank you for reading this article!

Adapted from  Raising a Thankful Child Zero to Three Publication December 2010